when you wish you could cry to release some of the deep sadness you’re feeling but you are actually completely numb and incapable of forming tears so you just have to sit and wait for the feeling to pass without feeling any release or comfort whatsoever
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
Sometimes I feel there’s a hole inside of me; An emptiness that at times seems to burn I have this dream of being whole. Not going to bed each night wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me and I want to be seen.
Life is not a fairytale.
You see all these movies and read all these books and keep expecting these grand gestures and amazing experiences to happen to you, and when they don’t, you get disappointed.
He’s not going to stand outside your window with flowers in his hand saying “I miss you baby, please come back.” When you leave him hoping he’ll realize your worth and come back begging, he doesn’t, he just moves on. Your friends are not going to organize some grand surprise for your birthday, or even come meet you because they’re all so busy all the time. There’s never going to be a huge moment of realization when the people you care about finally know how much you love them. If you randomly go off the grid one day, nobody is going to visit you at home to see if you are okay. You are not gonna be able to leave everything behind and say “screw it” and take off on a road trip with strange and unknown people because you care too much. People are not going to be there in your worst times, they’re going to decide that it’s too much for them and run as fast as they can. You just need to stop setting this high bar of expectation because even if you set it really really low, people are going to find a way to slide under it, being careful not to touch it.
Life is not a fairytale.
